just like mary poppins

so the past few days av had the cleaning bug and trying really hard to involve Carl to do the same not easy cral`s never been one for being tidy around the house usually me who cleans or make Carl do it he`s only just started using the washing machine.
But he is trying his best bless him .also we have been shopping for new curtains duvet covers
and furniture all of witch have to match and blend in with everything else am a bit

fussy like that can take me hours to arrange one room witch winds Carl up no end lol.

says am like Monica of tv show fiends lol am not that bad am sure . we spent several hundred pounds on new stuff i say we was more Carl but i will pay my bit if he likes it or not . were going to carls mum and dads tomorrow for Sunday lunch love a big sunday lunch not the same with just two of you his mum is really nice calls Carl names ad never get away with his dad loves golf, cricket,usually fall asleep watching either of them on tv

works much easer now the managers back so glad of that makes my work so much easer

comeing out to mum dad granddad

November 19 92 it was my 16th birthday when i decided to tell everyone else so i thought. but Emma thought i should tell dad and granddad together and not on my bithday either as it would spoil my day she also suggested i tell them by myself CHEERS EMMA
so the morning after the party nothing big just a few friends i thought i was wrong about an hour before all my cousins turned up in a big minibus about 12 altogether some i hadn't seen in years Craig and his brothers were there. no paddy tho!was a really nice party no fights no police called nothing .
next day when they all went home i knew i had to do it dad and granddad were in the lounge watching something mum was out. was really scared now Emma was upstairs just in-case lol so i go in to them
dad -granddad got something to tell u.
what is it lad?
me- i need to tell you both something don`t be mad please.
what you done now?
me-i haven't done anything dad am erm gay.
say that again son?
am gay dad-granddad am sorry
am now sat next to them
granddad says why son why are you sorry?
me i dont know granddad wasnt sure how you`d both take it
dad-have you told your mother yet?
me Emma asked me not to
dad how long she friggin known ?
me am sorry dad.
granddad you`ve done nothing wrong so why be sorry?
dad so you are planning on telling your mum then ?
me of cores dad .
dad me dad`s right youve done nothing wrong son am not disappointed ?
grandad fucking hell what you going to tell your mother ?
dad do you want me to do it son ?
me no dad i gotta do it with Emma
dad mutters thank fuck for that and start laughing
me so you alright with it then .
dad as long as you dont tell me what you got up to .
grandad and as long as your safe lad ?.




this went better than expected i fell mum was next later on as dad took grandad back to liverpool


I ask Emma if i cud do the talking if she stayed about which was ok


mum can i talk to you
about what?
me mum ive got something to tell you.
i knew something was up?
me mum am gay .
get away your not ?
me mum am gay stood next to her with arm on her sholder.
how?
me how do u mean mum.
well how do you know your gay ?
me becoz i like boys mum .
like kissed boys?
me yes mum i have .
have you told your dad
me i told him and granddad before mum.
what did he say.
me he didnt say a grate deal mum just that av done nothing wrong and he`s not mad at me .
Emma he`s been really grown up about this mum honest are you going to tell uncle peter her brother .
why should i have to ?.
me mum ?
forget about uncle alright ?
me crying mum i dint mean to .
FORGET IT ?




YouTube - The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode Lyrics

Again something playing all the time at the time
uncle peter was my mums brother didnt see allot of him much dad wasn't keen on him.
he was also the only contact we had with mums family lived in Ireland heavy church goers and would have been really mad if they knew there grandson was gay. they took the view that gay people will burn in hell ......



like to say it was all plain sailing but it wasnt took about 6 month before they excepted it .

how i came out part one EMMA

Ok in 19 92 i came out to my family i came out to my sister Emma first in summer holidays i was 15 years old Emma was 21 and had a flat in Liverpool mum and dad and me had moved to Nottingham that January.
Also granddad was in Liverpool not far from Emma s so she was able to check on him
Nan had died in the October 91 so i wanted to have some time with granddad i know he missed nan we all did he was fine as long as he kept busy was helping him decorate the house .

also i missed my sister not easy to say a 15 but i really did and i knew i wanted to tell her wanted someone on my side first and i thought she`d be supportive .

I had a few cousins i wanted to catch up with Craig was one he was 17 and always got on well with him we`d talked allot lately missed him allot homesick i think also he had a mate paddy fancied paddy allot we had wanked one another off and took it a bit further camping the previous summer sucked him off exc

anyway one evening i was out with my cousins and had been drinking round at theirs larger bit of vodka was pissed as a fart when i got back to Emma s at half 11 wasn't happy that i was pissed want to go and kick my cousins head in but she did see the funny side to it i knew i had to tell her and didnt have a care in the world in that state so i sat down next to her and mumbled Emma am gay she didn't respond so i sed it again nothing by now am getting a bit mad so i shouted FUCKS SAKE EMMA AM GAY.as loud as i could I she thought i was having her on WHY WOULD I KID YOU ABOUT THIS EM.
and stormed off to bed was crying when i got to the room few mins later Emma comes in the room . SORRY EMMA BUT I AM Emma sat on the bed with me and squeezed the life outa me she asked me things like how long have i been like this, who else knows , have you sed anything to granddad yet, no Emma only told you at moment .BETTER NOT TELL FUCKING GRANDDAD THIS COULD KILL HIM YA KNOW. must have been there talking for over an hour just chatting she occupationally got mad at me but i think it was more shock.

next morning i woke with the mother of all hangovers then i remembered what id told Emma and thought OH FUCK WHAT HAVE I DONE . Emma was out when i got up didn't know what to do just thinking what do i do now she came back a bit later i was shitting myself who`s she told .

got something for ya theirs leaflets about Aids, STD, and having tests , and a box of condoms Emma who have you told about this crying again. bloody no-one its not up to me is it i would like you to be honest with me tho sat next to me have u had sex with anyone yet you don't have to tell me it up to you no Emma honest just other stuff that's alright then but you will be careful wont ya .

i ended up staying a few days longer than i expected and i did tell her about the previous summer and who with thought she go mental and threaten to break his legs
usually does even today .

looking back i think if i was right to come out then should i have told mum ad dad first . it was fine i had Emma on my side and it brought me closer than ever to her

the vdeo i posted reminded me of that summer it was on everywhere and brings back fond memories about that summer . i felt i had grown up a bit in them few weeks
and a huge waight had been taken off me



YouTube - Rhythm is a dancer

dru

JUST A BIG FAIRY.

Past few days have been interesting on Thursday me and Carl did something we haven't done this year we went to reflections its a health club a gay one they do exist honest
anyway we used to go few times a month but we haven't felt like going . anyway at the club theirs jacuzzi huge one enough for 10 i kid you not also smaller ones . steam rooms or sauna ,little gym as well as meeting places and a shop dont think i need to mention what the shop sells but it is a gay health club .

anyway we usually go for the small jacuzzi 2-3 people only and then a sauna Carl usually chats with anyone whos about including me of cores:) me i talk to people i know
maybe smile at people i don't there are people who would use the club for other reasons than to just to relax :) i will admit i do look at whats going on around me enough to me even the gayest man in the world ( that's probably Elton John am kidding:)
blush.
so i suggest you use your imagination from hear on.....

so after all that we went for a Chinese meal and bitched about what we saw in the club were both very good at bitching probably most gay people are good at it :O WHAT

Friday i met up with on old friend used to go out together not like that hes straight :} anyway he used to have this group a tribute act THE SPICE RACK . piss take of spice girls
ninja spice does kung fu moves badly
naughty spice nurses uniform fake boobs exc
sloshed spice acts pissed sometimes was
daisy spice cows outfit sometimes that was me
fairy spice dressed as a big fairy and wand shoved down the front that was me if not as daisy .
I DONT CARE WHOS LAUGHING this was all done for charity and helped raise allot of money over 40 thousand pounds over a couple of years

but we had a good natter and laugh and there was allot of them believe me there was even a lads holiday in turkey that involved a certain piercing i had .:O i may mention that one day

yesterday me and Carl went to the coast skegness or skeggy . was a really nice day esp as i wasnt driving was lovely there was cooler lots of people about lots of drunken acts not me this time honest was a joy to watch drunk people fighting its hilarious honest .

this past fortnight has been a bit up and down what with work and that also doctor says my levels of depression are up i was a bit worried he`d say i was getting clinically depressed i have seen what that does to people and in no way do i want to find myself get like that . people say its ok to be depressed that clinical depression isn't the end of the world.
now i know i may be a bit stubborn i admit that. but ive seen what it does to you the state it gets you in the state of mind you are in .
its not me that's all am saying am better than that .
DRU

you only tell me you love me when ur drunk

expected work to be really stressful today what with yesterdays crap . but no was asked
to go into the office and was told that there is long list of complaints about her manor and her attitude also performance problem is she don't work for us its social services who employ her so am told they had no option but to suspend her pending further investigations this has happened before .
yesterdays post was more a rant at things.

anyway happy things PET SHOP BOYS playing nottingham festival OMG Carl`s got some tickets OMFG.
not mentioned this yet but am a massive massive massive fan i have everything they did
over 25 years together went to see them in birmingham few years ago WOW thats the best way to put it . so am expecting a few sleepless nights when it gets near . have posted one of my favourite tracks i could have posted a whole load more but this one is brilliant live .

YouTube - Pet
Shop Boys - You Only Tell Me You Love ....

have a doctors appointment tomorrow about my mood swings had them before TBH it made me really ill last time on top of it these days

it means nothing

so today was the annual inspection she was supposed to turn up at 10 am instead she arrives at 8 am in the space of an hour without me she had upset the staff
, found faults with the finances
, helped herself to breakfast using service users food ,
told staff how to do there job ,
so when i get there am already pissed off because
#shes come early ,supposed to come at the time given ,but doesnt have to .
#helped herself to other peoples food.she put in report she was offered the food so she lied .
#faults with finances there wasn't any it was all correct . she was checking the wrong books .
i haven't been looking forward to today at all as soon as i herd she was coming a few weeks back id been dreading it i have met her before few years back and she has a major attitude problem with me being GAY .

todays just been one of them days dont even know why am writing all this really its pointless gibberish to some people.
I mean does anyone really give a fuck what i say
or even understand.
DRUCLOUD

IT`S ALL CLEAN FUN. WELL SORT OF

Before Carl i will admit there were a few hits and misses a few i am willing to share with you brace yourselves.
while at collage i made friends with quite a few people via a gay support group at the collage best thing i have ever did support wise . I also got to know i few people who wanted to have fun try something new they include
having sex in cars.
blow job in a empty class room giving and receiving.
sex in toilets usually gay bar .


also on nights outs after i had finished college i had a few fumbles in shop doorway`s.
Once i had my hand down a guys trousers and i guy walking his dog walks past and the dog starts sniffing round my arse thought it was my mates playing around next day am in a shop and who walks in same man same dog and he says enjoy last night did you ?.


I ve had a few bad dates also like meeting a guy off the internet bad choice i know
once i realised what he was like i mate a very quick exit

few one-night stands some weren't bad but some make me cringe today like the guy who asked me to cum over his man boobs and rub it in or the guy who asked me to rub it in his armpits !!!!!!!!!!!!

also there have been friends id had fun with nothing init just sex

believe it or not these are the ones i am happy to mention there are a few i would rather not mention